When do you tell someone you have an interest in sexy under, spandex or other?
How I got into Spandex
posted 3 months ago
So, I'm pretty clean cut in my outward appearance, but I still like to wear edgy gear under my clothes. The guys I am usually interested in are closer to my age (40 - 70) and are not that adventuresome with their underwear selections. That's OK, it's my thing and I don't expect others to have my same interests. But it also means I'm not that forthcoming in wearing my extremely sexy gear. If I'm interested in them for more than a hookup, I don't want to scare them off.
When have you found the best time to share your interest in sexy gear?
posted 3 months ago
posted by: O2BnSFSo, I'm pretty clean cut in my outward appearance, but I still like to wear edgy gear under my clothes. The guys I am usually interested in are closer to my age (40 - 70) and are not that adventuresome with their underwear selections. That's OK, it's my thing and I don't expect others to have my same interests. But it also means I'm not that forthcoming in wearing my extremely sexy gear. If I'm interested in them for more than a hookup, I don't want to scare them off. When have you found the best time to share your interest in sexy gear?
posted 3 months ago
Similar to what Slickskin has said, I've also been a little bit hesitant to tell other guys that I meet about it because I'm afraid they would think it's weird. At the same time though, I like to ask the other guy if he has any kinks and if I get asked, I just tell him I'm into gear but I always add that it's not necessary if the other guy is not into it. Seems to have worked for me. I have also been surprised though-- some guys have expressed interest in exploring my lycra and find it hot so you never know!
posted 3 months ago
another thing you can do is wear your spandex, but not go full on with it. like wearing a spandex under armour t-shirt with regular shorts or jeans or sweatpants. wearing leggings under shorts with a regular t-shirt for your gym outfit or hiking or other active things. that way it shows that you like it & they might even ask about it, & you can just say that you enjoy the look & feel of it & the athletic performance benefits, without at first saying that you really get off on it.
its really hard having a fetish like this, & i've found out that for the most part, people that dont share our fetish just totally don't get it, & there's nothing you can really do about it. it just doesnt trip their trigger. & it's frustrating for us. but some guys will still like how it shows off your body, or parts of it, even if it means they want to get it off of you as soon as they can for play. if you get into a relationship with a guy, you can eventually explain that you just really get off on this stuff & it really turns you on & makes sex better & more intense. & a good partner i think will be ok with you wearing it, & might even wear something for you, just as part of being a good play partner & doing it bc they know it gives you pleasure, even if they aren't totally into it.
Last edited: 3 months ago
posted 3 months ago
posted by: Swimmer2004another thing you can do is wear your spandex, but not go full on with it. like wearing a spandex under armour t-shirt with regular shorts or jeans or sweatpants. wearing leggings under shorts with a regular t-shirt for your gym outfit or hiking or other active things. that way it shows that you like it & they might even ask about it, & you can just say that you enjoy the look & feel of it, without at first saying that you really get off on it. its really hard having a fetish like this, & i've found out that for the most part, people that dont share our fetish just totally don't get it, & there's nothing you can really do about it. it just doesnt trip their trigger. & it's frustrating for us. but some guys will still like how it shows off your body, or parts of it, even if it means they want to get it off of you as soon as they can for play. if you get into a relationship with a guy, you can eventually explain that you just really get off on this stuff & it really turns you on & makes sex better & more intense. & a good partner i think will be ok with you wearing it, & might even wear something for you, just as part of being a good play partner & doing it bc they know it gives you pleasure, even if they aren't totally into it.
posted 3 months ago
I try to be open from the beginning with guys I date. Some guys find it weird and others like it. It will depend on the guy and I try to find guys who encourage my underwear/spandex love and don't put it down. If they do I move on, I've reached a point in my life you have to accept me and all I like not parts. But I would also say maybe bring it up in conversation like the other guys have and say how much you like sexier underwear. A lot of guys don't like to talk undies, but I don't see why we can't, especially when dating. but being honest is the best thing to do and don't intentionally hide it. Good luck
posted 3 months ago
Good points everyone!
My personal take on it is that lycra/thongs/underwear are a huge part of my sexuality and always have been. I don’t really like or want sex with someone if there’s no gear involved and, ideally I want my partner to enjoy wearing sexy gear too. I will talk about it from the beginning because it matters to me.
It’s likely unrealistic to expect that someone enjoys spandex exactly the same way I do, but different takes on it keep things interesting and can expand my horizons :)
posted 3 months ago
I just want to add that whatever you do, if your partner has had a largely "vanilla" sex life, choose your words carefully so that he doesn't feel judged for it. He may simply have never had the opportunity to experience other forms of male eroticism and sensuality. You could potentially be the one to change that.
I want to thank the OP for introducing this subject. You guys have really touched on some excellent points.
posted 3 months ago
I think this thread underscores the benefit of places like SpandexParty in terms of meeting people with similar interests.
posted 3 months ago
posted by: SpeedoFetishESI think this thread underscores the benefit of places like SpandexParty in terms of meeting people with similar interests.
posted 3 months ago
Very much in support of all of this. Who you tell, when and in what way depends (I think) on the nature of your relationship with that person. If you’re dating and looking for something more personal, sexual or the like, then being honest upfront will likely help out a lot. It will save both parties a lot of time and effort - if you’re a diehard spandex fan, they’re really not, that’s not a deal-breaker but something to at least put out there. I have yet to find someone who’s into spandex/latex/PVC and stuff like that as a kink, but I’ll keep trying!
posted 3 months ago
I have a discussion at the very beginning - really not going to wanna be with someone who doesn't share it
posted 2 months ago
Being up front about my love for spandex is important as time is precious and should not be wasted.
posted 2 months ago
As spandex is an important part of the sex life and long term relationship, I just get that out of the way early.
posted 18 hours ago
It was college for me. The girl who I dated for a few years when I was in college (early 2000s) was into all kinds of fun stuff and pretty much willing to try anything. It was actually her that brought up the idea of role reversing, then I expanded it into me wesring various womens apparel, including: spandex, nylons, lingerie, etc.
What started as play became a more regular occurrence. Bc let's face it guys, at the time women had far more fun and comfortable underwear and workout clothes options. I feel like its only until recently now that gender lines are more blurry that male clothes have taken on more feminine traits.
Last edited: 18 hours ago